Advice with Audrey

Advice with Audrey:

Question:

“Hey , first thank you a lot for making this helpful column . 
my problem is that I have 3 best friends in my new school all are more independent   than me and smarter which makes me feel naive and dumb and sometimes I feel like THEY are tricking me for example one of them is like bossing me around and all and I can't just find the rights words to say back to her.... I'm becoming more like them everyday and that's what I want. but they're still smarter than me we're close and all but sometimes like we really aren't ..I'm so mixed up in this....even most of the girls in my new school have a mature good rational political mentality and all and I'm still a kid  ( it's important in where I live about the whole politics and stuff)...
and thank you again for reading this”

My answer:

Oh you’re completely welcome! First things first, you’re not naïve as you’re showing a clear understanding of what is going on meaning you aren’t as innocent as everyone is making you out to be. You’re not a dumb person, some people progress faster than others in life and school but the reality is that you should do things at your own pace not at a pace that a select group of people are going at. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being different from others because your maturity level hasn’t reached a certain peak yet, in fact you’ll be glad you didn’t grow up so soon when you get to be my age. From my perspective you seem to feel like these girls are your friends but you can’t relate to them to a certain level because you feel that their intelligence is higher, which I honestly do not think is true considering everyone is equal in intelligence but people progress at different rates. My advice is stay friends with them but don’t let them boss you around, as you say. You need to stick up for yourself by saying something like “I’d really appreciate if you didn’t tell me what to do because I can think for myself. I understand that we are friends but I’m my own independent person and since we are friends I’d like it if you’d let me make my own decisions even though I do appreciate your imput.”. This will help them realize that you can think for yourself and it will help establish you as your own person. New schools can be tough, but you need to keep your head held high and try not to compare yourself so much to others. You’re a unique person and you shouldn’t be down on yourself for being one, in fact it’s what makes you special and someone who is worth while.

-Audrey

Question:

 “How do I stop feeling like I am a waste in this world and how do I feel like I am useful in this world.”

My answer:

No one is a waste in the world, in fact everyone has something they can offer. Everyone who is born has a purpose, but that purpose may not always be clear to them when they are young, in fact it takes years to figure out who you are and what you want to believe in. You’re a young person, you really shouldn’t be so hard on yourself because you are useful in this world. Think of your friends, your family, the things you’re good at and what you’ve done successfully, those are all proof that you are needed, wanted and useful in this world. Even though you haven’t found what makes you tick yet it that doesn’t mean you’re a waste of this world; it took me sixteen years to have a general idea of what I wanted to do with my life and what my purpose was, it’ll take time to find yours. What I would recommend doing is just trying out new things as you are fairly young in age and you’ll find something that gives you a joy. What gives me joy is helping out others, art and mathematics as for you it’ll obviously be different. Explore things to keep yourself preoccupied and when you find something you’re amazing at you won’t feel like you’re a waste; because the truth is you aren’t and never will be… all these feelings are a matter of growing up and everyone feels them at some point but you will never ever be a waste no matter what.

-Audrey

Question:

“I'm 12 and I masturbate alot.
I'm serious, what should I do?

Ahh, my wird verification was diknion.”

My answer:

I’m pretty sure you’re trolling and if you aren’t there is only one thing I can tell you; Go see a doctor. That can become an addiction and you’re way too young to be dealing with that right now.

Question:

“What would you do if your friends betray you dearest”

Answer:

That’s a tough thing to deal with but unfortunately it happens to everyone, in fact I’ve had quite a bit of experience with this. People make mistakes all the time, in fact it’s in our nature meaning at some point in your life you will be betrayed by someone including someone who you love and care about. People are bound to make mistakes, you and I are included in this equation. Let me give you a little real life example that happened to me and after I’ll point out what I think you can do.

When I was seventeen (which was just year and a half ago) I had to deal with this similar situation. My friend Danica suddenly turned on me and decided to drag every other person I was friends with against me. It hurt for a long time and I pretty much became a loner blaming myself for what was being done to me. Eventually I lifted my head up high and made new friends that were there for me and still are to this day.

Just because you lose a friend doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world; you can always make new friends. My whole theory is that if someone that you love lets you free and doesn’t come back to apologize they weren’t worth it in the first place. People are always going to be like that but you just have to find someone who is worth everything even a few fights over the time that you’re friends.

Keep your held high and people will be more attracted to you friendwise and you’ll be able to find someone that’s a real friend.

P.s.

If someone was making you unhappy chances are that they weren’t that good of a friend anyway.

-Audrey

Question: “I am a young boy and I have been thinking recently am I gay because I often thin I am but I like girls too, I think I am bisexual but I am scared to come out any advice ?”

Answer: That’s a tough situation, I know because I’m pansexual. When I was around twelve I began questioning my preferences towards people because I noticed unlike most others my age I didn’t really have a barrier as to who I liked in fact to this day I don’t discriminate.

Being young and trying to figure out who you are is a tough thing but there are for sure things that you can do to make it easier on yourself like for example answer these questions;

1.    Why am I attracted to males and females?

2.    Am I too young to actually really have a preference one way or the other?

3.    Am I doing this because I think it’s cool?

4.    Is there something else making me feel this way other than my own emotions?

5.    Is someone I look up to doing this?

It’s hard to be young and having to deal with this but then again everyone has to deal with things like this when they’re young. Think about the questions and eventually you’ll be able to figure out what’s going on with you without having other people tell you their own opinion on what they think you’re all about.

If you come to realize you’re bisexual or gay I’ll give you advice on how to come clean to your parents and peers because I had to do it at one point but please be certain first as this is something you will be labeled with for life.

That’s it!

How did I do for my first advice column?

As always if you need any advice you can email me at advicewithaudrey@yahoo.com

Or post anonymously in the comments section.

I will keep your identity private as you can tell by the above questions.

Thanks guys and enjoy!